for our weeknight relief society meeting {i still call it enrichment} we had a parenting class. it wasn’t as active as i was expecting, but more of masterfully presented talk. i was definitely touched by the spirit none the less, and am glad that i made time to attend. it was just what i needed to hear, on many different levels. i’ve been having a tough time lately, and haven’t been quite able to put my finger on it, but i think i might have figured it out.
have you heard that, ‘No ONE can make you feel inferior without your permission’ (Eleanor Roosevelt)? well, as it so happens, i’ve been letting other people get me down. i’ve been letting what other people think of me (or more accurately, what i think other people are thinking about me) really bother me. if someone judges my parenting, or gives crass, unsolicited parenting advice, i feel like a bad parent. if someone questions my loyalty, in my mind, i’m un-loyal and an awful friend. why have i been allowing this? because i completely agree with the above quote; i’ve been giving my permission to feel this way. it all boils down to insecurities and the quest for perfection. faulty, i know, but still, it’s been plaguing my thoughts. i have a quote on my email signature that i read everyday, and it says, ‘the thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself’ (Anna Quindlen). that is something i need to remind myself of everyday- i just need to be me. so, okay, but who am i and how can i work on becoming the best me?
- I am a Daughter of God
- I am a wife to a wonderful husband
- I am a primary teacher
- I am a housekeeper and chef
- I am a teacher
- I am a friend, a sister, a confidant
- I am a blogger
BUT MOST IMPORTANT TO MY EVERYDAY LIFE:::
8. I am a mom
my heavenly father has trusted me with two of his sweetest spirits, and expects me to bring them up in light and truth. that’s a big deal and should occupy the most of my thoughts to the point that i don’t have time for any unnecessary negativity. negativity takes too much energy, and it’s not the example i want to present to my children. the lesson last night was wonderful at providing us moms with some focus as parents. our teacher directed us to common themes that are ever present in many conference addresses. the running themes being that we need to rely on the Spirit to help us govern, we need to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of them, that we need to constantly strive to do our best, and be the best examples we can be. i’ve linked two of the talks that i was able to get the references for, Hallmarks of a Happy Home, Thomas S. Monson (November 1988) and Love and Law, Dallin H. Oaks (November 2009), and i guarantee that they are filled with tons of useful, practical advice.
the calling to be a mother is such a cool thing, and i know that if i focus my energy and time on being the best i can be, that the rest of my life will fall into place. i need to make sure that my spiritual reservoir is full, and not allow others to drain it. who suffers when a mom’s tank is low? be it her physical tank, her spiritual tank, her intellectual tank or her emotional tank, those that suffer are those closest to her. for me, it’s jenna and adam that suffer. if my thoughts are occupied, i distract myself with meaningless tasks and shirk my motherly duties. i choose to spend my time focusing on the negative, and while i still care for their physical needs, i cannot truly meet their spiritual and emotional needs if i’m not more than 50% present.
so…. what’s the point? my point is that i’ve made a goal. my goal until Christmas is to be a better mother. to be a present, positive mother that is really trying. i want to be blessed with the Spirit and i can’t do that if i’m not in tune with His promptings. i want to seek out the guidance of others through reading. i want to study the scriptures and teach my children through example. i want to prepare FHE lessons just for my kids. i want to talk and work with my husband on our parenting philosophies so that we can be a unit. i want to make The Family: A Proclamation to the World my families title of liberty. i could go on and on, but let me just finish with my testimony that i know that this enrichment lesson was for me. it was to help me reestablish my focus in this season of my life. my Heavenly Father heard my prayers for guidance and prompted me to attend so that i could figure out what’s been causing me so much strife lately. i am so excited to rededicate myself to motherhood and i feel so blessed to have the chance in this life to be a mother to jenna and adam. it’s a divine calling and one that i don’t plan to take lightly.
14 comments:
Really love those enrichment (yes, I still call it that too!) meetings or Relief Society lessons that feel like they are prepared specifically for you. Those are the best and always remind me (us) of our Heavenly Father's love for us. Great post and important goals for all moms!
Now I'm regretting so much that I didn't go. I was planning on it and then decided it had just been a long day. It was probably just what I needed. Shoot! Glad you got to go though. I love those booster, make you want to be better kind of lessons!
Thanks Heather for that wonderful message! I wish I would have went too....I feel like I could use all the help I can get! I'll have to read those talks. You're such a great example!!!!
My "enrichment" this month was to make crappy ornaments. I think this blog post (and almost everything else imaginable, though I did enjoy the post) is far more "enriching". Perhaps this is the reason for the name change? Har har.
Side note: My three and a half year old wears a size six shoe. Want to share some height genes? I worry for the possible son!
I agree, it was great. I too felt like it was a good reminder that I needed to hear. You left before I had a chance to talk to you - let's talk soon, I wanted to schedule my "date"
Great post. I agree that meeting was just what I needed. I was a little grumpy about going to a parenting class because I've been feeling like I'm falling pretty short in that area. It was an amazing lesson that really helped out. And your post was perfect too. :)
I think you are a great mom. It's often hard to remember that - especially when the kiddos aren't very complimentary. Sheesh. Maybe you should teach them gratitude. And telling you that you are beautiful! Just don't spoil them too much. And sometimes the best mom thing to do is to call your sister and let them watch Diego for a couple of episodes. :)
This was a great post and a great share. I can relate very much to what you say and wish I had been to your meeting! It's very hard as mothers to feel like we strike a balance between time for ourselves and time devoted to the kiddos, and I think it's human nature to focus on what others think of us. Part of the "natural man" thing, if you will, and it's really hard to overcome all that. Bravo to you for all you do and are working to be.
What a beautiful family. It seems like all moms struggle with these very same thoughts/worries. Thanks for sharing. Your children look so happy--appears to me that you are already doing a fantastic job. :)
I think a lot of us call it Enrichment still. Of course I know people that still call it Homemaking. It's kind of hard to know what to call it now when they haven't announced the theme for the month. If you say RS meeting, it is easily confused with the Sunday meeting. Crazy.
Your night sounded pretty cool! Thanks!! :)
And thanks for stopping and commenting on my bucket list! I replied and really hope to see you post one, too!
I think this is so hard for all of us. I am so naturally hard on myself that I am sure everyone else is, too. And it just brings me down. I'm trying really hard to let go of being perfect in every way and being okay with my weaknesses (but still working on them) and happy with where I am now. I think I'm a better mother when I can do that.
Thanks for this post.
Great post- thanks for sharing! I agree with a lot of what you said. Good luck with your goal- you can do it!
I SO wish I would have gone. But like a few others have already mentioned, your post was inspirational and such a wonderful reminder of the real joy in life. Like you, I too sometimes worry and feel insecure about what I think other people might be thinking about me. It sounds silly trying to explain it all, but I totally get what you mean. And being a mom really is the most important job! I wish it wasn't so easy to get caught up and distracted with things that didn't matter. The gosple always brings the true meaning of life into focus. I love it.
By the way, you have an amazing talent for writing. Has anyone ever told you that you should be an author/writer? What a great talent to have!
I've read a similar setiment on a few other blogs...
I think getting down on yourself is the LEAST helpful thing.
Focus on those kids. They're all SO different and motherhood is all about one on one...
I think you do a great job, and believe me there's PLENTY worse out there. :D
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