I’ve been wondering lately if I spoil my children. Not with things, but with me. I spend 98% of their waking hours with them, and they almost never want to be away from me. Yes, when I do leave them, they are fine {once I’m gone}, but it just doesn’t happen all too often. They are both very smart kids, and polite around adults when I’m there, but they also both have a shy side where they just want to sit with me. Is this totally normal for kids that stay home with their moms?
Take library story time. Both kids love to sing and dance and listen to the stories. Love it! Adam will walk right up to Ms Chris and request a bean bag and Jenna will sit and chat with the other kids. BUT heaven forbid they get the littlest bit concerned/upset… their heads are buried in me in no time.
At bedtime, we have a routine that we stick to more often than not. We take baths, get pajama’s on, read a scripture story, read 3 books, and sing 3 primary songs to get us reverent before prayers. Both kids push and cry about who gets to sit on my lap. Both kids want me to rock-a-by/cuddle with them for a few minutes. David is WONDERFUL all along the way, but when Jenna is saying that she wants me to cuddle her, I have a tough time saying no. SOOOOOOO {nearly} every night, I cuddle with the baby, sing our special lullaby and lay him down with a kiss, and then tuck Jenn in and lay with her to talk about our day. I’m not complaining, just trying to figure out if I am allowing them to depend on me too much {if that makes any sense}.
Most mornings while the kids are watching shows and having breakfast, I try to get some chores done around the house. I am normally not in the same place for too long, and will hear pleas for me about every 10 minutes. Jenna says, “Mom! What are you doing? Where are you?” I use to give her the correct answer, to which she would say, “Why? Come back to me. I miss you". So now I tease her and say things like, “I’m at the airport” or “swimming” and wait for her to laugh at me. This conversation goes on constantly throughout the day. She is always keeping tabs on me. Adam will just come and find me…
On those evenings when I get to go out, for Relief Society or book group or Mom’s Night, she’ll say things like, “But what if I miss you?”. It kinda breaks my heart! It doesn’t stop me from going out, but it does make me love her just a little bit more.
Can I love my kids too much? I guess I just wonder if there is room for another. I know we’ll make it work when the time is right {not just yet, relax} but I just think that these two sweet kids will have lots of adjusting to do. Can’t carry around either of them for very long any more as it is, let alone with a big pregnant belly….
(here they are eating their St.Patrick’s Day snack- sugar free lime Jell-O with cool whip)
8 comments:
I love my time with my kids, and I don't think I spoil them, but they will take any time that I give them. They're just the same -- I'd never shower or cook or anything if they had their way, and no one else will do. Sometimes I just have to tell them, "No, but I will color (read, play dolls, go outside...) with you when I finish the dishes." They have learned to play without me when I need them to. As far public places go, I think it's normal for that to be a whole different ballgame. And the pregnant belly is still not a factor at 32 weeks. Just sayin'!
It's been very interesting to watch the dynamic in our little family over the past year... when Steve was unemployed and home and I was working, they became the tightest of buddies and daddy always won over me. Now that Steve is working and I'm home, Preston has started depending on me more, but he and daddy are still very tight. Love that! Children are so sweet and being a mom is truly the best, as you've so greatly pointed out!
I don't think you can spoil a kid with love and attention. Especially since Jenna and Adam are exposed to other kids and activities (church, cousins, story time, etc.) Maybe if they never left the house and stayed home with you and only you ALL day EVERY day, but they don't. It's cute that Jenna says she will miss you, but since she doesn't throw a fit when you do leave, I think she's just being sweet!
Do they still like to do some stuff with dad? Is Dave feeling neglected? hmmm.
You have good kids. Tell them no a few times, they'll be upset with you. and balance will be restored. Just ask yourself - Who's the boss here?
Now get to work on darling #3! :)
Trust me, the time will come (too soon) when they'll be at school for 7 hours a day. Soak up the time with them while you have it!!!
I agree. They're going to be in school and away from you ALL day soon enough. Spoil them while you can. :) YOU are their momma and YOU know what is best for them.
Oh my word, I feel exactly the same way as you do! Last Saturday (a week ago), I posted on my facebook page that I was finally getting out for a few hours on my own, and the longest I had been away from children in the 10 months since my daughter was born is two hours. My children are spoiled! And yes, I do love them very much :)
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