Reflection

Almost every time I hit a store nowadays, with Thing 1 (4), Thing 2 (2.5) and the not-to-go-unnoticed Thing 3 (coming soon) I get looks. Most of the time smiles, and occasionally 'You've sure got your hands full!" from a grandma/grandpa aged person. I smile back, because it's the truth. Especially if Adam has fallen asleep in the car (which is normal in the early afternoon) and needs a cuddle in my arms before sitting in the cart. It doesn't bother me in the slightest when the kids are cute and polite and doing what I'm asking of them.

Of course, it's never fun to get looks from onlookers as the little ones cry, or run away and don't come back when called, or talk back. My anxiety steps into high gear and I'm just sure they are all thinking, "AND she's having ANOTHER kid?!" Adam is in this not-so-adorable phase (that's what I'm calling it. I refuse to admit that this phase might just be his personality) where he is highly selective as to who is allowed to talk or even look at him. He can switch from being our quirky, smart, talkative boy, to being a crank-ster in about 3 seconds. Yes, this goes for friendly grandma's at the grocery stores, Church leaders, and even Aunts and Uncles. It's terribly embarrassing to explain that he doesn't mean any harm, but no talking-to on David's or my part seems to make any headway, for the time being, in him being kind. But we are working on it.

I was directed to the following post on a blog called Momastery. It's titled: Don't Carpe Diem, and I swear it spoke to me. The author talks of the concept of enjoying every minute of motherhood because it will fly by. Her thoughts are, "Really? I'm going to miss struggling with 3 small kids at the checkout line?" I've had that thought many of times. Of course she doesn't at all mean that she doesn't enjoy being a mom, but sometimes it's not fun. She said that her favorite time of the day was when the kids were in bed. Ha! I've said that! I've also talked about how wonderful our day was and how funny the kids were, all while being grateful that one more day had pasted and I had the next couple hours to be a grown-up with my husband.

The highlight of the post for me was as followed:: "There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, “No. but I love having written.” What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, “Are you sure? Are you sure you don’t mean you love having parented?” 

Perfect, right? While parenting doesn't really stop, it does change drastically as kids get older. Even adults need their parents, even if it is in a very different way than they did as young adults. Parenting is never really over, but there is a big sigh of relief that comes with each advancement.

For me, the memorable milestones in parenting come with developmental milestones. Sleeping through the night is probably the first one- a large chunk of time when my infant doesn't need my attention. I am already looking forward to that! Easily the toughest part of having a new baby, for me, is the not sleeping part.

Currently we are working on potty-training with #2. I understand that his success at this stage (the first week) is dependent on me- and I long to be finished with this challenge. It's not fun, but necessary. I hope to have at least a few weeks off from diaper duty!

I'm sure going to school with be a great milestone- when my kids are spending significant amounts of time NOT with me. That changes the way that parents need to parent, not just the kids that are in school, but the influence school has on the rest of the family.

Maybe I got off track.... While I love my current stage in parenting, I look forward to smiling and looking back at 'having parented'. BUT I don't want to take this time for granted.

Hilary Weeks is a LDS Musician who was also a presenter at Time Out For Women this past November. She shared the following story, that she also had published in the book of her's that I picked up::

What a wonderful thought that brings tears to my eyes! Because of the blessings of the Temple, we have the chance to spend all Eternity with our adult children. Forever and ever and ever we get to be together. But for right here, and right now, we get the privilege of knowing each of our children as children. What a special gift that our Heavenly Father has given us, right?!

This sweet boy that gets into my bed with me in the morning, and touches my face, will be a grown-up boy forever and I wouldn't dream of missing him being who he is right now. My big girl, who is more and more like me each day, is only small enough to cuddle in my lap for the next few years, and I wouldn't trade this time for anything. I have rocked both of them to sleep countless times in their infancy, and I look forward to the special time with their baby sister. I love knowing these children as children, and I hope to remember to truly reflect of that gift that Heavenly Father gave me.

BUT this time of reflection might be at the end of each day when I gaze into their precious sleeping faces, and tuck the blankets up around their chins. It's much easier for me to look back on the day and smile AFTER the majority of my daily duties are done. Being a mom is the best things I have ever done- hands down- but it's not easy. It's a round the clock, no sick days, and no vacation time calling- you can never take a break from thinking about them, but I wouldn't trade these years for anything. I often wonder how different our family will look in 10 or 15 years and I get nervous. I've got my job cut out for me to get these kids ready for the real world, and I know that with the help of My Heavenly Father (because he knows these kids better than I do), David and I will be successful.